February 7, 2018

Shine Theory

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Comparison is the greatest thief of joy.  
How many times a day do we, as human beings, compare ourselves to one another?  If I had to sit and count that number I would probably be mortified.  We're programmed to be competitive, to be the best and to win and if we're anything less than that it's obviously a failure, right?  Now, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with having motivation and the drive to be the best that you can be, but the problem arises when you're constantly comparing yourself to others that you lose sight of what success looks like for you as an individual.

My biggest struggle with comparison comes when I compare myself to other women - my friends, my coworkers, the woman I'm taking a fitness class with - honestly the list could go on and on, but I think you get the point.  But if I really stop and think about it, comparing myself to that other woman did nothing to improve myself as a person and certainly not my mental health.

I was introduced to the shine theory a few years ago and it's a topic that has been at the back of my mind since and I always knew I wanted to write about it but just didn't quite have the words to say.  Then I wrote this post on body image and realized that for me, and probably others as well, the two go hand in hand.  The shine theory is a concept that states when someone around you has success, we all have success.  Wait, what? That concept sounded so crazy to me because if someone else is having success then surely I am failing in some aspect, right?

Think of it this way - your counterpart at work gets a raise.  In the traditional way of thinking, you obviously failed because they seemingly did something better than you.  Or you could think of it this way - maybe your coworker was the first person in your department to get a raise in x amount of years and they have paved the way for you and others to also have the opportunity for a raise.  In that scenario, everyone has a chance to win.

It's okay (and healthy) to let other people's success motivate and drive you to have your own success, the key is remembering that someone else's achievements do not diminish your own.  I'm not saying that after reading this post (or for me, writing this post), we are now immune to the feeling of jealousy when a girlfriend announces she's just landed an amazing opportunity.  We're humans, hardwired to feel that way.  But instead of letting that little monster called envy build up inside you, turn your negative feelings into inspiration for you and your next endeavor.

If you take anything at all away from reading this post, let it be this - there is enough comparison and negativity in this world, especially amongst women.  So next time you see that girl who seemingly has it all together, befriend her instead of envying her from afar.  When one of us shines, we all shine.

xo, Kathryn 

shine theory women empowerment feminist feminism old navy twill field jacket army green moto leggings twist front tee bp nordstrom louis vuitton delightful damier ebene ray ban aviator sunglasses dallas blogger

shine theory women empowerment feminist feminism old navy twill field jacket army green moto leggings twist front tee bp nordstrom louis vuitton delightful damier ebene ray ban aviator sunglasses dallas blogger

shine theory women empowerment feminist feminism old navy twill field jacket army green moto leggings twist front tee bp nordstrom louis vuitton delightful damier ebene ray ban aviator sunglasses dallas blogger

shine theory women empowerment feminist feminism old navy twill field jacket army green moto leggings twist front tee bp nordstrom louis vuitton delightful damier ebene ray ban aviator sunglasses dallas blogger

shine theory women empowerment feminist feminism old navy twill field jacket army green moto leggings twist front tee bp nordstrom louis vuitton delightful damier ebene ray ban aviator sunglasses dallas blogger

shine theory women empowerment feminist feminism old navy twill field jacket army green moto leggings twist front tee bp nordstrom louis vuitton delightful damier ebene ray ban aviator sunglasses dallas blogger

Outfit Details:
jacket  |  toplong sleeve version  |  purse  |  shoes  |  sunglasses
leggings are from TJMaxx in store, similar to these