Let's Talk Body Image

When I sat down to write this post last night, this is not exactly what I planned on writing about nor is it a topic I thought I would ever talk about here.  I envision this little space on the internet to be a place for honest and open discussion, but if I'm being true to myself and each of you, I have avoided talking about this topic because it embarrasses me that it's something that even crosses my mind.  I'm a 27 year old woman and I still struggle with my body image on a daily basis.


For as long as I can remember, my weight has always been that topic at the back of my mind that always found it's way to creep into my thoughts at the most inopportune times.  In middle school I can remember weighing more than the majority of the girls in my class and telling myself daily that if I could just lose some weight I would fit in and be happier.  The truth is if I had lost as much weight as I thought I needed to lose it would have actually been unhealthy.

My struggle with my body image followed me into my freshman year of high school where I nagged myself so much I finally convinced my mom to let me do Weight Watchers the summer between my freshman and sophomore year.  I ended up losing about fifteen pounds (well within a healthy range) while participating in the summer fitness program my high school's athletic department organized.  When I stepped back onto campus that next year, I literally ate it up every time someone would tell me how good I looked or congratulate me on my weight loss.  But no matter how many compliments I received, I would still question if my thighs were too big, shoulders too broad, etc.

It wasn't until the second half of my college career that I was bullied for how much I weighed.  I had  put on weight and it was the unhealthiest I have ever been, but I was by no means grossly overweight.     Females can be amazing when they stick together, but my oh my how hurtful they can be when they make someone the target of their own unhappiness.   At the time I thought I was better equipped at dealing with how others treated me, but I would be lying if I said it wasn't hurtful and didn't evoke negative thoughts that I obviously still carry with me today.

Once I entered the post grad phase of life, I always had something I was trying to lose weight for - a friend's wedding, my own wedding, summer, vacations - and I never did quite reach my goal.  Not attaining that certain number or size always put me in the worst of moods and looking back I can't help but think how much a number, whether it be on a scale or a clothing tag, controlled the happiness I had in my life.

So here I am in my own little corner of this world reminding myself that I am a work in progress.  I am by no means where I want to be concerning how I view myself, but I'm working on it along with maintaining my health and happiness.  I have a body that is strong and beautiful just how it is and a husband who loves me just exactly as I am and for that I am thankful.

xo, Kathryn

Outfit Details: 

Sweater c/o Tobi  |  Pants  |  Shoes - sold out, this year's version  |  Purse  |  Sunglasses